Do you have a snakeskin?

While embarking on a pretty significant landscaping endeavor today (as you can note by the plethora of weeds) I came across a snakeskin.

No big deal right? 

WRONG!

I'm deathly afraid of snakes - 

so much so that I cannot even watch them on TV - okay that borders irrational but I just can't seem to get over it.

I have a snake in bright purple and orange tattooed on the side of my left bicep hiding away and covered by the goddess of protection on the outside of my left arm (bicep) - 

and for Pete's sake I'm 41 years old - enough already!

background:

I grew up in South Africa and one day our school took a field trip hike up one of the neighboring koppies (small mountains) - in our uniforms - which included black leather baby doll shoes, white socks and a blue cotton dress.

Never the less - as I took a step while chatting away with my class, a snake slithered across the top of my foot (eliciting a lovely school girl shrill shriek).

To this day - my greatest and only fear!

 I'll get back to snakes in a minute....

I've always wondered why some things can move into my subconscious and others stay boxed up on a shelf. For as long as I remember, I've been able to control my dreams, meaning I can start a dream, return to a dream if I wake up, and only a handful of times have I been able to manipulate my dream. I'll give you a real example. 

I was a waitress in Perkins - my first job in the US - and my boss was a somewhat troubled young man. He brought his personal life into work - and well things were just plain complicated. Once I left that job I really didn't want to see him ever again and I obviously started thinking about it more than I realized. I had this reoccurring dream at the same time: a man was chasing me down an endless maze of hallways. 

Luckily I was seeing a counselor (weekly at that time) and she asked me "have you ever considered stopping. Just stop running". I hadn't - and the thought of it kept me from wanting to try. However assuring myself that this was dreamland and no chance of parallel reality - I made a commitment that I would try it the next time the dream "surfaced".

It wasn't long until I was frantically running down white halls with this ominous stranger behind me. I watched myself stop, with the footsteps behind me slowing and loudening and as a hand reached for my shoulder I spun on my hills - screwdriver in hand in attack stance - to face HIM. 

I will leave out the gory details that followed (think screwdriver and eyeballs) but I never had that dream again -

and the very next day

I swear on my grandmothers grave

I ran into HIM - with no anxiety (nor screwdriver).

back to the snakeskin...

We all have something in our lives - maybe multiple things - that we pretend just aren't there. I know my  yard is crawling with (slithering with) snakes of all kinds. I would like to pretend they live instead in the  neighbors yard - but at some point I will have to face my fear.

What if - the "snake" (insert your fear here), turns out to be harmless, or manageable or just not a threat at all?

Time to name your snakeskin don't you think?